This question of "the right amount of time" brings up pretty fundamental issues about how you might want to structure a relationship. The modern person is supposed to be able act pretty freely, we hear, but I think this depends a lot on who you are trying to date. If guys in your crowd talk like Doug, then this is a reality you will have to deal with, even if it is not representative of other men. If you are interested in finding a partner who is classically religiously conservative, or uses words like "family values" then you will probably have to play along with a certain kind of script which is restrictive to everyone but an accepted part of the pageantry. Keep in mind, however, that 8 months into an intense emotional relationship is not a convenient time to find out that your partner's kisses turn your stomach. It's a wise idea to establish that there is some physical rapport while it's still early enough to steer this off towards friendship.

On the other hand, freedom (i.e. the situation where there is no fixed script) is much more difficult to do well.  Try very hard to make sure that you are not "jumping into bed" for the wrong reasons yourself, for instance wanting the person to like you, wanting to take the relationship to the next level, etc.  Try thinking of sex (and having sex) as a very deep kind of communication between you and your partner. Try to ease it in at a point in the relationship when other deep kinds of communication are already well in place, and can anchor the new kinds of emotions and reactions which the physical closeness will release.

Hi Lilibee, 

We are quite far away from last century’s rule of no sex before marriage for the respectable women aren’t we? I’m always surprised  on how customs can change with time, are we the same people? A little foot  or ankle showing off under the dress used to be so sexy and today... walking naked on the street people barely look at you.

 As for your question,  I would take the time to get to know the partner well before jumping, especially if you like him a lot and see yourself being together for a long period of time. But, when does one know that one knows the other one?  I remember watching  a TV show (years ago, I don’t know if it still exists) of couples being asked question about their partners in all areas of life : from food to habits to foreseeing psychological reactions. There were all sorts of couples, some married for 30 years, some together for barely a year and it was surprising to see that the older couples did not know each other better than the young ones. So, it’s not that you would know them so much better after a while. It’s a matter of feeling when you know it’s right to get to know them in the biblical sense.

So my last piece of advice would be not to jump but rather to glide into it :-)

Good luck!

Hi Lilibee
Here is  the  opinion of a  guy....a guy among so many others.
So, to  jump or to  glide (an allusion to the  metaphoric  piece of advice in the preceding  post)?

When  you  jump, your return back to earth is rapid and  may be  rough. You may hurt  yourself.
When  you  glide, there is  no  predetermined amount  of  time spent  in the sky. It will depend  on aerological and meterorological conditions  you meet, on  your experience as a  pilot and  on  how  you feel. But, for sure, you  must take  your time to get optimal conditions (favorable  winds, updrafts), to enjoy and  to really  feel in  harmony  with  what  is  around you  and with  yourself. Then, naturally, you feel the adequate  moment when it is time  to  go back to earth....a smooth landing because it  has  been being  prepared (unconsciously in great part) since the  beginning  of  the  flight and, above all, because  it has been  felt